For Armpits Only


There are phrases I have uttered from my mouth I never dreamed of having to say. I have experienced circumstances I never dreamed could be possible. Having children alters your vocabulary and broadens your horizons.

I distinctly remember one time saying, “We do not wear cheese on our heads.”

I have a painful recollection of trying to explain private parts to one of my children and failing miserably. I won’t share details, so as not to embarrass my kiddos (or myself).

Then there are things like, “Please do not pass gas on your brother.” And, “Please take your underwear off of your head.”

The other day my husband was gone at a meeting during bedtime. I had managed to herd the boys upstairs to get ready for bed, a feat in itself. They were strictly instructed to brush their teeth, get their pajamas on and go to my bed so I could read to them. I had forgotten my book downstairs, so I ran down quickly to get it.

Upon re-entering my room, I see my youngest sitting on the bed in his underwear slathering deodorant all over himself.

“What are you DOING?????!!!!!” I shrieked.

“Making myself smell good!” came the stunned reply. The look on his face implied, “Oh, crap. What have I done?”

You see, I envisioned explaining about deodorant at around 5th grade or so. Somehow, I just didn’t think I would be instructing my children on how deodorant is only for armpits at the age of 6. I thought it was safe to leave my nearly seven-year-old unattended for 30 seconds while I ran downstairs. Apparently, that was my first mistake.

He was a greasy mess. It was even in his hair. I nearly had him and his brother in bed, and we had to start the whole process over with a shower. And, if you’ve read this blog for a while, you know I dread bedtime at the Lanham household.

Do you have a child you feel God gave to you to stretch you in ways you never imagined? My youngest is that child for me, and I am so grateful for him. He teaches me to take life far less seriously. I would miss out on so many smiles and laughs without him. His snuggles are worth his mess, but I sure will be glad for the day my hygiene products are safe again!



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